We made it thru the holidays

Well we made another year and I hope it was what you consider a good one when you look back? If not then what we need to do is look forward with positive attitudes and go into the new year with the belief that it will be a great year! BUT what if we are entering the year with burdens upon us? Feeling down and as if the world is against us! Well from what I've learned is then we have to get into problem solving mode and feel as if we are always going in a positive direction. If you are doing that, then you can always feel good about yourself because you are doing all you can and have no reason to place guilt upon yourself.
How many of you are pet owners? How many of you are sick of the cost of vets? Why is it that a vet now thinks he is worthy of the income of a brain surgeon? My dog, whom I love dearly had a very bad tumor on her side, and you see she's 12 yrs old. Well I took her to the vet here in my city and he wanted almost $600 to take it off and then he started talking radiation and all sorts of things add up to $$$$$$$$ Well I took a chance and took her to see an old country vet that's been there for years and you won't believe what a great job he did! He took that tumor off for $90 yes you read right $90 and did a great job. She's been home for 2 weeks now and is doing great!

Parents

Why is it that parents are so demanding? I mean as they get older they seem to require? NO make that demand more & more of your time! Now don't get me wrong I love my father dearly but its crazy how he just calls my house and starts making these demands of me or my wife. I think that as they get older they might realize that their time is limited on this earth and they want to spend more time with their children? Now that brings me to another difficulty, I'm an only child and I have no other siblings to share this bit of a burden. My dad is now 75 yrs. old and in very good condition for his age, and when he was younger he would run miles & miles a real health nut, too bad I couldn't take after him more in that regard. Even now he goes to the health club and works out, he brags to me that he can press 400 lbs with his legs, a feat that I cold never do as a man of 46. He can no longer use his arms the way he wants because of surgeries on both of his shoulders. Anyway does anyone other than me have there parents call them and ask them why they weren't in church last week? Or we never see you? When are you going to come over and see me?
Maybe this life is just too fast pace now days, it seems that the days of the 40hr week is gone. Everyone I talk to ether is out of work or working 60 & 70hr weeks these days. One day when my parents pass away yes I'll be very sad, and I'm sure that there will be regrets as I'm sure there is with everyone, but the key I think is to not have regrets so huge that you can't forgive yourself of.

my love of photography

My love of photography started as a boy of about 12 yrs and I remember saving all my money to buy my first SLR camera and sending all the way out to California for it! It must of taken weeks for it to get to my house and meeting the mailman every day to see if he had a package for me! Any of you that have been bitten by the bug know what I mean. Now I use one of the first digital SLR type cameras by Olympus but hope to one day get one of the more modern ones, all I have to do is make it seem appealing to my wife! lol I'd love to meet more folks here that have the same love of photography as I here in the blogs. I have meet numerous folks via the internet and there are a few of them that even do it professionals. I love to share photos with other folks and would love to share with you. The photos that I have included here are photos I took in AZ last year right after the rains they had early in the year, the dessert in bloom is just beautiful!

Not bad for a Monday

Not a bad day at all for a Monday and a work day at that although I did get a bit frisky today at work when I had a bunch of wood to pick up today and thought "hey I gott'a pick up the wood anyway, why not do some deep knee bends while I'm at it!" Yeah right! Hell my poor Ole' 46yr old legs can't do that! Thought I might have to call the boss and get some help to get off the toilet! Think I'll stick with my weak legs and forget the macho!

So anyone out there going to miss T.O. tonight? Well I for one and I know that there aren't many of them out there, but I like to watch him. Lets face it, he can pull off plays that most can't! And you never know what's going to happen when he's on the field, perhaps its the unknown that I find exciting!

Tonight I also had an appointment with my therapist and that went really well, although I forgot about the appointment till on the way home from work and didn't have any of my journal printed up tonight as well. I get out of work and then I have a 1/2 an hr. to get there, well there was only enough time to come in and grab my laptop and head right there. Dan my therapist told me that it was the first time that anyone has ever brought their PC and read off it!
Anyway again I urge anyone out there that is having anxiety or depression problems to start a journal, get professional help! Don't be too proud to seek help, and don't be so angry as to not be able to forgive other's or yourself!

Great Football day

It was a great football day today, and that Redskins, Bucks game! What a game! And my boy come over to watch the end of the game with me tonight that's always good too! He come over and had his finger all wrapped up tonight and I asked what's up with that? Well these young guys and their party's you know. He went to a college for a party this weekend and his buddy threw up on himself, so they went to the car for a clean shirt and guess what! Yes an alcohol related accident! The guy slammed my sons finger in the car door!! Ouch! So he's off to the Dr. Tomorrow. I tried to talk him into letting me drill a hole in his finger nail but he was having no part of that. He's walking around like he wants to ask a question all the time, with his hand raised in the air! I'll have to tell you more about him, he's quite the guy. We are very proud of him, he's only 21yrs old and a manger at a Wal mart already.

what's the purpose?

As of right now I'm not sure as to the purpose of this blog other than to offer proof that thru God, Dr's, medicine, therapy, and a lot of hard work that folks that are suffering from anxiety & depression it can be beaten. I was to the point of not sleeping and if I did I would only get 1 or 2 hrs a night and was missing work as well from this, finally I just broke down and when I say broke down that is just what I did when I finally went to go see a Dr. and I'm so glad that I did, he got me on meds (Effexor) and talked me into seeking a therapist. Today I'm so much happier and living a fuller life its just night and day difference. Anybody that is having problems I encourage you to seek help, the help is there all you have to do is reach out and accept it.
Today was a wonderful day and I would like to tell you about it! It was Sat. and I didn't have to work today BUT I don't have every Sat. off but I did today and the wife & I just kicked back and kind of enjoyed the early morning at home. Then we took both of our dogs (Baker a Choc. Lab) & (Cindi and Walker Coonhound) for a run at a near by park that's right next to a nice river and then that runs thru a nice patch of woods, most of our leaves are down now but it was a beautiful Nov. day and almost 60 today. I then went and did a bit of shopping, came home and did a bit of yard work and washed my truck, then I came in and we ate lunch and settled in for a little football and of course a nap by the 2nd quarter. You see I have a rule, I snack the 1st quarter and by the 1/2 I'm doing some napping and then I have to wake up by the 4th to see what happened in the game! LOL Tonight me and the wife just finished a movie (Return to Lonesome Dove) that we have on DVD and now its about bedtime but I wanted to add a bit to this blog.
I'm not going to write you everyday but I will update you on my life and keep you informed. I think that I'm going to like this but its going to take me a while to get the hang of it all. I got into the habit of the journal with my therapist and really like that but haven't been doing that everyday either, but I think it really helps a person to put things down and kind of flush ones system.
Well I think that I've rambled long enough for one day!

My first entry

Hello, this is my very first entry and to tell you the truth I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with this journal. I started a journal about 8 months ago when I started seeing a therapist for an anxiety disorder and also was put on a drug called effexor. I would like to tell anyone that is having problems to have the courage to go and see a Dr. And get help! That was to toughest part for me and didn't go till I was feeling very ill, but now that I look back it was the best decision that I've ever made.
The reason that I ended up needing help was pretty much due to having problems with my mother, you see my mother is in a nursing home but it took a long time to get her there and 4 surgeries. As a child my mother was never there for me and towards the end of my childhood I lived with my grandmother because my mother locked me out of the house one day after school and that was that as far as living with her. I don't want to come off as a whiner but the bottom line is this, she was asking more from me than I had to give emotional and physical and yes I did in fact hate my mother as bad as that sounds. The good news is this, I have since learned to forgive her and begin to help her with her situation and things are much better than they were.